What I Wish I Would Have Known

I like lists. I like being grateful, too. When I put these things together, out pops a list. I'm going to fill this list with things that I wish I would have known this time last year. I reflect on this last past year, and I can't believe everything that has changed in twelve months! If you would have told me that I would be at this point in my life last year, I would have laughed my butt off, but enough of that- Here is what I wish I would have known.

*I wish that I would have known that I would be finishing school this year. Let's be honest here, I stink at school! I have so much anxiety over not being good enough, not being on time, not getting ample study time, overall, just not being good enough, that I can't do it. I know that I can, I'm not sure why I can't convince my brain, but there is some block from my brain to my feet, and it was SO hard to get myself to go to class, even in High school. Thank goodness for online school!! Last year, I was so angry with myself and was even debating leaving school and forgetting about it altogether. I'm so thankful I stuck it through. I wish I would have known that.

*I would have liked to know that I am a Dr. Pepper junkie now. I enjoy that stuff more then life itself! Alright, so it may be an unhealthy addiction, but I can't think of many other beverages that make me that happy. Enough said.

*I wish I would have known that I would get to keep Jeremy for the rest of forever. This time last year, I remember him saying that he would be leaving our youth theater that we both teach at, and I remember being so devastated at the possibility that I would never see him again. If you would have told me that I would be marrying him, to be honest, I would have been as giddy and happy as I am now. I've loved the man for so long, imagining my life without him would be like a Christmas tree without any decorations. Every time I am with him, I fall deeper in love with him, especially when we get to have that occasional snowball fight...even if he wins.

*I wish I would have known that I would have known that last Christmas would be the last Christmas that we would be together as an entire family. We have a big ol' family, and because of that, things have always been chaotic around the Christmas season. I remember having lots of fun, but I also remember the times that annoyed me such as visiting relatives that I wasn't fond of, visiting Santa even though I thought I was well above the average age to sit on his lap, and so on and so forth. I look back on all of my siblings and I slept in the same bedroom on Christmas Eve and played with our toys while our dad paced the hallway outside the bedroom door jingling the jingle bells, or the time that we tried to reenact the Christmas Story and it ended up as far from the actual Christmas story that a family using puppets could get. I wish I would have known that, too. I probably wouldn't have taken it for granted.

*I wish that I would have known about the TV show, "Saved By The Bell". I am an obsessive compulsive being, and once I get into a TV show, I HAVE to finish it. I can't wait to see what happens in between episodes, because I simply cannot function until I know the conclusion. I really do wish I had known that I would enjoy it this much, and would have started watching it a year ago.

Yes, I wish I would have known all of that last year. Needless to say though, I am thankful for all of it, and it makes me wonder what the next year has in store for me. Odds are that I'll look back at this blog next year and think about the changes and what I wish I would have known right now. Until then, I'll take everything a day at a time, and hopefully this year, I'll recognize the small and simple blessings.