I know...you don't have to tell me. I already have been told that it's not going to be Christmas for at least another month, but I'm starting my list early. I was listening to Amy Grants version of "Grownup Christmas List", and decided to make one of my own, so here's what I want-
*Someone to waltz with me
*A Dr. Pepper
*A really good Christmas CD mix
*A billion ONC's
*To master my dance to "Appologize" and "Faint"
*To get all my Primary lessons done a whole year in advance
*To go to Disneyland and win something from the year of a million dreams
*A good, long sleep
*Enough time to sit through one really good Disney movie
*To audition and be cast in a really good show
*One day with no stress or "sick" people calling in at work
*To have enough time to teach another dance class in Orem
*A clean room
I think thats a good list. Yeah, thats good.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
10 Ways to Know You are at Disneyland
Okay, so maybe its not 10 reasons, more like 7...but this is what I have come up with so far-
1) You wait in line (fastpass line), to wait in another line (acutal attraction line.
2) There is more ethnicity outside of "Its a Small World" then there is inside.
3) Your grumpy because everyone else is acting dopey.
4) You have to wait in line to get out of the park (that darn tram line!!)
5) You wait in line for lunch for what seems like forever, then the Japanese tour group in front of you orders 68 burgers and pays with 5 dollar bills.
6) You have to sign away the deed to your house to get a bottled water.
7) The bird that just pooped oh you was an anamatronic...
Oh Disneyland, my Disneyland. The happiest place on earth, and in my mind :)
1) You wait in line (fastpass line), to wait in another line (acutal attraction line.
2) There is more ethnicity outside of "Its a Small World" then there is inside.
3) Your grumpy because everyone else is acting dopey.
4) You have to wait in line to get out of the park (that darn tram line!!)
5) You wait in line for lunch for what seems like forever, then the Japanese tour group in front of you orders 68 burgers and pays with 5 dollar bills.
6) You have to sign away the deed to your house to get a bottled water.
7) The bird that just pooped oh you was an anamatronic...
Oh Disneyland, my Disneyland. The happiest place on earth, and in my mind :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The List
As stated in one of my previous blogs, I decided to post my "Things that make me Thankful" list. Mind you, its long, quirky, and unexplainable, so dont ask.
Things that make me Thankful
I have really awesome parents that try to understand me, super amazingly talented, and considerate siblings, the most amazing, sweet, kind, thoughtful, understanding, and sarcastically humorous boyfriend- Andy Keele, a really fun job playing with my friends, and teaching and assisting at Center Stage Youth Performers and Broadway Bound, some of the cutest little girls in my dance class at Orem Elementary, a really good, secure, and nicely challenging job at Old Navy, fun co-workers that can joke around and play with me, easy online school, the first snow of the year (even if it was in OCTOBER!), pumpkin carving, keeping Christmas with you all through the year, knowing that I have achieved everything in a week that I wanted to, The Happy Sumo, rainbows that appear right after it rains, Christmas pins, Labyrinth ( Okay, im not really thankful for that movie- I'm just thankful that my eyes were opened to the injustice that I faced unknowingly for 19 years), 50 cent Tuesdays at the dollar movie theater...although we aren't really sure if it actually exists, the coke machine down the street, my indestructible car, the huge collection of Amy Grant CD collection that I acquired, new friends, old friends, and the way is smells after it rains....
I know that there is much, much more, but its getting late, and writing any more would open you up to a new chapter of my life that no one wants to read, or at least, for me to publicly post. Thank goodness for being thankful!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
My name is Lauren and I sell pencils at Dunder Mifflin
It's time for "The Office"! I watch that show like I read the bible (but not specifically in that order). Often times I have to remind myself that the show does not follow real life people, and that in fact, its totally and completely *big sigh*...fictional. I fully believe that this show was meant just for me. Why, might you ask, would I take it that far? To persuade you, and maybe even myself, I have a short list as to why I believe the previous statement is true-
* The first episode of "The Office" premired on my birthday- March 24th
* In the first two seasons, Jim drives a 2001, red Corolla...the EXACT same car I drive!
* In the third season, Martin Nash drives a car with LAV on the license plate- my initials
I think thats a pretty good list! A bit of devestating news though- the screen actors guild has has taken the first step towards a strike....NOT AGAIN! First the writers, then the actors...c'mon people! You get paid so much! Why demand more money, while being on strike loses you money, and not just that, they could find pretty good replacements. I would love to take on "Pam" on "The Office"! Enough of my bitterness...I suppose I will just have to watch reruns and my DVD's to pass the time. Until that time though, I will dvr as many shows on tv to pass the little time I have to spend melting brain cells.
* The first episode of "The Office" premired on my birthday- March 24th
* In the first two seasons, Jim drives a 2001, red Corolla...the EXACT same car I drive!
* In the third season, Martin Nash drives a car with LAV on the license plate- my initials
I think thats a pretty good list! A bit of devestating news though- the screen actors guild has has taken the first step towards a strike....NOT AGAIN! First the writers, then the actors...c'mon people! You get paid so much! Why demand more money, while being on strike loses you money, and not just that, they could find pretty good replacements. I would love to take on "Pam" on "The Office"! Enough of my bitterness...I suppose I will just have to watch reruns and my DVD's to pass the time. Until that time though, I will dvr as many shows on tv to pass the little time I have to spend melting brain cells.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Be...Let it Be
Its been a good day : )
That mere sentence sums up a lot, but elaborating it would only make it sound insincere and over embellished. I’ve come to realize what I have and what I truly am thankful for. I had a sudden realization of what I have, when my family was together this weekend watching church in our underwear or pajamas…whichever one is less offensive. I miss spending time with my family because we complete each other. I love them and miss them all the time so I am thankful that we were able to spend a full day together. It’s been so long since we have all been together for a period of 24 hours, and I hope that we can find another time to goof off again.
One particular experience that happened this weekend goes like this- my youngest sister (who just turned 5! Happy Birthday Cork!), bless her heart, ran into my room in the early hours of the morning, cookie in hand, jumped into my bed and got under the covers, which I was still occupying. At first, I was extremely annoyed…actually, that might be an understatement, I might have been bordering extremely angry. It had been a late night, and I didn’t get much sleep, and was not very welcoming to anything that might disrupt my comfortable sleep. I was thinking only of myself and my feelings, how I felt, and what I wanted, and how her early morning visit was inconvenient along with the crumbling cookie. I was about to shove her out of my bed and scold her, informing her that I wanted NOTHING to do with her that morning, when she sweetly said “Lauren, I saw this cookie and I wanted to eat it, but I remembered how much I love you and I want you to have it”. She bent down, and kissed my forehead, and merrily skipped out of my room. * I was speechless *
My eyes filled with tears as I looked at the mangled cookie, which I now held in my hand. I then sat and pondered and I have come to realize that I am the luckiest person in the entire world. I have the best of everything. I have the best parents, the best sisters, the best brothers, the best boyfriend, the best friends and the list goes on and on. These people fill my life with so much joy and meaning! They may not all be perfect, but every single on of them strive to be the best that they can be, and that in and of itself, makes them as close to perfect as I think it can get. I’ve decided to make a “Thankful List”. I might post it later, but every time I feel frustration, anger, or sadness, I’m going to look at my “Thankful List”, and remember what I have, and what I would be without it.
It’s been a good day : )
That mere sentence sums up a lot, but elaborating it would only make it sound insincere and over embellished. I’ve come to realize what I have and what I truly am thankful for. I had a sudden realization of what I have, when my family was together this weekend watching church in our underwear or pajamas…whichever one is less offensive. I miss spending time with my family because we complete each other. I love them and miss them all the time so I am thankful that we were able to spend a full day together. It’s been so long since we have all been together for a period of 24 hours, and I hope that we can find another time to goof off again.
One particular experience that happened this weekend goes like this- my youngest sister (who just turned 5! Happy Birthday Cork!), bless her heart, ran into my room in the early hours of the morning, cookie in hand, jumped into my bed and got under the covers, which I was still occupying. At first, I was extremely annoyed…actually, that might be an understatement, I might have been bordering extremely angry. It had been a late night, and I didn’t get much sleep, and was not very welcoming to anything that might disrupt my comfortable sleep. I was thinking only of myself and my feelings, how I felt, and what I wanted, and how her early morning visit was inconvenient along with the crumbling cookie. I was about to shove her out of my bed and scold her, informing her that I wanted NOTHING to do with her that morning, when she sweetly said “Lauren, I saw this cookie and I wanted to eat it, but I remembered how much I love you and I want you to have it”. She bent down, and kissed my forehead, and merrily skipped out of my room. * I was speechless *
My eyes filled with tears as I looked at the mangled cookie, which I now held in my hand. I then sat and pondered and I have come to realize that I am the luckiest person in the entire world. I have the best of everything. I have the best parents, the best sisters, the best brothers, the best boyfriend, the best friends and the list goes on and on. These people fill my life with so much joy and meaning! They may not all be perfect, but every single on of them strive to be the best that they can be, and that in and of itself, makes them as close to perfect as I think it can get. I’ve decided to make a “Thankful List”. I might post it later, but every time I feel frustration, anger, or sadness, I’m going to look at my “Thankful List”, and remember what I have, and what I would be without it.
It’s been a good day : )
The Stepford Boyfriends
They were all the same, tall, dark, and handsome. There was something that drew me into their almost Disney like good looks and charm, and it was hard to not believe that maybe this finally was “the one”. Is that really possible? Can you know someone for only a moment and suddenly know that they are the one? Is love at first sight real, or is it merely lust at first sight? As much as I wanted to believe it, I now look back and realize that I was too naive to consider anything other then love at first sight, or maybe it was ignorance. One of them (not so tall and dark, but still charming), caught my attention immediately, and made me realize for the first time that there could be depth to a relationship. Who knew?
A week after claiming that our relationship was the real deal, and we were “gonna make it”, although I had no idea what that really meant, he assured me that he would never let me go…I had no idea what I was in for. The late night phone calls, visits, and detailed and elaborate stories from the past that would make a sensible person run for the hills, became so constant, I began to think that every relationship had to be like that.
He was manipulative, and he was good at making me do everything that he wanted. I didn’t believe in mind control and abuse, but now I do, oh boy I do! He got into my mind, and KNEW my next move before I did. He took pleasure in seeing me cower and fear him. He embellished the thought of me feeling completely lost and unable to make a decision without him or his approval. I knew it was wrong, and I knew that I was stuck, but how did I get out? I sometimes even wondered what thoughts were mine, and if what I was thinking was right, or if it was wrong because he thought it was wrong, or if I thought it was wrong. Understand?To make a long story short…er, I did it. He’s gone, but it’s not to say that the process wasn’t painful, and still haunts me to this day. With the passing of that dead, and decomposing relationship, I realize how much I learned, but still did not carry over the newly found morals and experiences to relationships that preceded the last dreadful one. I still let boys (and let me emphasize BOYS not men…not even guys), use me, abuse me, and take every inch of dignity that I had left in me, as if there was much left anyways.
That was three years ago, and I can finally say that even though I’m still not the brightest crayon in the box, I take the experience that I now have, and I use it. What a novel idea!! I know I still have so much to learn, but take that small experience to back me up and I won’t ever take for granted or regret the choices I’ve made. Those choices have made me the person that I am today, and I wouldn’t have the people in my life that I have in today if I had chosen differently. I don’t think that mistakes are terrible. We learn from mistakes, and without them, we would never know the difference between what is acceptable and what is not. Whenever I am discouraged at a mistake or something stupid that I do or missed, I’ve decided to tell myself “That was an awesome mistake!”…enough said.
A week after claiming that our relationship was the real deal, and we were “gonna make it”, although I had no idea what that really meant, he assured me that he would never let me go…I had no idea what I was in for. The late night phone calls, visits, and detailed and elaborate stories from the past that would make a sensible person run for the hills, became so constant, I began to think that every relationship had to be like that.
He was manipulative, and he was good at making me do everything that he wanted. I didn’t believe in mind control and abuse, but now I do, oh boy I do! He got into my mind, and KNEW my next move before I did. He took pleasure in seeing me cower and fear him. He embellished the thought of me feeling completely lost and unable to make a decision without him or his approval. I knew it was wrong, and I knew that I was stuck, but how did I get out? I sometimes even wondered what thoughts were mine, and if what I was thinking was right, or if it was wrong because he thought it was wrong, or if I thought it was wrong. Understand?To make a long story short…er, I did it. He’s gone, but it’s not to say that the process wasn’t painful, and still haunts me to this day. With the passing of that dead, and decomposing relationship, I realize how much I learned, but still did not carry over the newly found morals and experiences to relationships that preceded the last dreadful one. I still let boys (and let me emphasize BOYS not men…not even guys), use me, abuse me, and take every inch of dignity that I had left in me, as if there was much left anyways.
That was three years ago, and I can finally say that even though I’m still not the brightest crayon in the box, I take the experience that I now have, and I use it. What a novel idea!! I know I still have so much to learn, but take that small experience to back me up and I won’t ever take for granted or regret the choices I’ve made. Those choices have made me the person that I am today, and I wouldn’t have the people in my life that I have in today if I had chosen differently. I don’t think that mistakes are terrible. We learn from mistakes, and without them, we would never know the difference between what is acceptable and what is not. Whenever I am discouraged at a mistake or something stupid that I do or missed, I’ve decided to tell myself “That was an awesome mistake!”…enough said.
The Past repeats itself...
Im staring at four walls covered with memories that break the floodgate in my mind. Memories from people, events, and odd occurances with no rhyme or reason. I remember the days of blogging and sharing my thoughts with the world, but also remember those times as being dark and dismal. I've always taken relief in writing, opening up my soul to those who are willing to dive in, but somehow lost my passion in the years past. This may sound depressing, but it's not. It's more of a celebration of what I now have come to realize as a rebirth, for lack of better phrasing, of my passion for writing. I suppose it's good to let it out in a constructive form, and maybe my pain and sorrow is begging to be let out in this way. My grief has taken many forms, none to say the least, constructive. I have too many thoughts, memories, and ramblings all filed away in a cabinet that has been locked in my head. Maybe it's time to share them...in this constructive way...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
